Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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