dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
