i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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