If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
