Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
