zippers are such a cool invention
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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