Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she peed on how many people?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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