Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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