I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
