I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
