Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
