it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
