dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my shit smells like andre
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
