My nipple is on Facebook.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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