The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
