you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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