The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
