honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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