one might say we're banned from that church
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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