Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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