No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Im part way to drunk.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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