so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Damn victory sex feels great
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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