dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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