we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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