Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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