He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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