Dual....:-)
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
