He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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