But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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