she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
