I want to stick my p in your. b.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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