i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize