Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize