When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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