I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
