Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
