no. you can't hotbox the world.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
