I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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