Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its not stalking. its research.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
