Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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