she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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