It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
