it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
