Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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