walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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