I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
