My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
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I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize