you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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