well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Less talking, more tequila
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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