I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
