They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
