we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
