hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
These tits shall not be calmed
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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