his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
