Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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