Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
