goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
