Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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