I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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