is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
