You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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