the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
