it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
