Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
