She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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