erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
