I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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