I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
