dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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