U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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