So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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